In this hyper-political age, stories of division and friction abound. Maybe you have one. That relative you muted on social media; the couple who no longer sits in the pew behind you at church; the loved one you pray won’t bring up the latest cable news controversy at dinner; or the coworker who has barely said a word to you since the day you spoke your mind about a hot-button issue.

All the strife and hurt can be exhausting, which is why it’s important to tell the other stories, too. The friends who disagree respectfully and patiently; the families who overcome political differences with genuine love; and the churches that come together and rally around Jesus amid all the chaos. This is one telling of a story from around the campfire that can inspire us and fill us with the hope that relational practices and genuine connections can overcome disagreements over policies, parties, and politicians.

2020 was a rough year for all of us. It was also the year Kelly, a Good Faith listener, reconnected with an old friend. Kelly had known Ryan since high school but had fallen out of touch over the years. They kept up with each other via social media but wouldn’t have considered themselves close.

For Kelly, living in media-saturated, 21st-century America is something like being under siege. “You’re just bombarded,” he told me. The news is constant and sensational. Partisan identity and culture war opinions are worn on sleeves. He spoke of being “inundated” with a constant barrage of hyperpartisanship but considers himself lucky the chaos hasn’t affected him more deeply. “I’ve heard horror stories of people whose parents don’t speak to them anymore,” he lamented. It’s enough to make anyone exhausted, to hunker down and turn inward, shunning anyone who disagrees.

Kelly describes his presence on social media in years past as hostile and angry. “I wasn’t trying to see all angles,” he said with a sigh. All those social media arguments, he says, are driven by the algorithm-induced rage of online life and accomplish little in the real world. “It doesn’t do anything. People argue with you. You lose friends.” He paused. “Sometimes you lose friends and you don’t even know you lost them.”

Eventually, Kelly “got tired of it,” as he shared with a hint of frustration in his voice. He had had enough of the bitterness Americans have grown used to in the past several years. When his old high school buddy posted support for the Republican presidential nominee in 2020, Kelly wanted to understand where Ryan was coming from. Rather than replying to voice his disagreement, Kelly reached out with the hope of cultivating a genuine relationship across political differences. Reconnecting with Ryan wasn’t about persuading his old friend to change his mind on policy issues or convincing Ryan to reconsider supporting his candidate of choice. In fact, it was motivated by more than merely understanding how folks on the other side of the aisle think. Kelly was looking for a corrective to his own biases, an opportunity to see things from another perspective. “I’ve got to have blindspots. I’m not perfect,” he admitted. So he messaged Ryan on Facebook and tried to have an open mind.

A risky undertaking, Kelly’s friend could have rejected the opportunity to connect or there could have been an angry conversation that pushed one of them to the brink. Instead, both of them exercised patience as they tried to understand one another’s views and kept the conversation going, renewing a friendship in the process.

“We’re still close now, and it’s four years later. Really close friends,” he told me. The pair message on social media regularly and grab lunch when Kelly returns home to Oklahoma to visit family. And as their friendship has deepened, politics has become a less frequent topic of conversation. “I don’t think we’ve talked about politics in probably a couple months, honestly. We’ve been talking about more personal stuff.” Rather than overtaking and snuffing out a friendship, political differences were for Ryan and Kelly a spark that grew into a deeper relationship. Kelly says the friendship has helped him see those on the other side of the aisle as image-bearers of God rather than disembodied voices of contention and disagreement.

Kelly’s story is a hopeful reminder of the reconciliation and genuine friendship that’s possible in relationships that have broken down because of political differences. Amid the chaos of this election year, we all need help following Jesus and making sense of the world—and that’s what the Good Faith podcast is all about.

We want to hear more stories like Kelly and Ryan’s. If you have one to share, let us know here. If political differences have caused pain in your life, consider checking out The After Party: Toward Better Christian Politics. Created by Good Faith host Curtis Chang, “Founding Friend” David French, and Christianity Today’s Russell Moore, this project may be the beginning of your own story of reconciliation.