In this episode of the Good Faith Podcast, host Curtis Chang sits down with acclaimed author and humorist Harrison Scott Key to explore the painful yet transformative experience of healing from infidelity. Key shares the personal story of discovering his wife’s affair and how they made the challenging decision of whether to rebuild trust after betrayal or walk away from the relationship.

Drawing from his book How to Stay Married: The Most Insane Love Story Ever, Key offers insights into the delicate balance of forgiveness in relationships. He discusses how humor can serve as a surprisingly powerful tool in the healing process, helping couples navigate the deep emotional wounds of betrayal. Through Key’s experience, it is clear that communication after betrayal is crucial—not just to rebuild trust, but also to allow for genuine healing and personal growth free from resentment.

Throughout the episode, Chang and Key discuss how empathy in marriage counseling plays a critical role in the recovery process. They explore how nurturing relationships after betrayal requires not only patience, but also a commitment to understanding and supporting each other in new ways. In their conversation, they touch on transformative therapy techniques that help couples restore their emotional connection and find resilience in marriage recovery.

Ultimately, this conversation is a testament to the power of vulnerability, empathy, and the belief that even the most painful moments can lead to profound transformation. With humor, honesty, and heartfelt insights, Key and Chang show that while betrayal may break us in the moment, the journey through healing can lead to deeper connection, stronger marriages, and lasting personal growth. Be sure to check out this episode of the Good Faith’s January Reset series.

This excerpt has been edited for length and clarity.

Curtis Chang: As you work through relationship issues, do you think it’s more important to know what you want or what you don’t want?

Harrison Scott Key: I definitely think they’re both very important, but the first is the most. You need to know what you want. If you want to hit the target, you need to know where the target is, not where it’s not. It’s much more helpful to know what it is that you want – you want to publish a book, you want to build your own house, you want to take your family on a trip and be able to afford that one day … You can’t really come up with a plan for how to get where you want in your marriage or in your life if you don’t know what it is you want.