Recently, Nancy French joined Curtis on the Good Faith podcast to discuss her new memoir, Ghosted: An American Story. The book is a must-read, packed full of captivating stories—some tragic, others hilarious. “My life is crazy,” Nancy told Curtis in the episode. “I feel like I should be 85 years old with all the stories that are in this book. And so many hit the cutting room floor.” Among the shocking, tear-jerking, and downright funny anecdotes that made the cut, one centers on a truly American story of family, race, and the immigrant experience. It begins with a white-hooded robe kept in a closet at Nancy’s childhood home.

This excerpt has been edited for length and clarity.

Nancy French: It was not something that we talked about. We were sort of forbidden to talk about it. They were keeping the robe so that they could maybe donate to a museum or something. But shockingly, museums have enough KKK robes that they didn’t need ours. We had this closet, and we knew that this robe was in the closet. We knew it was shameful. But what’s more shameful is more commonly our actual beliefs that we hold. In my life, I’ve had to sort of dismantle some beliefs that I had.

Then when we adopted, we just went for the fastest route. At the time, it was Ethiopia. And we read books about race and adoption and attachment and all that, but we were not fully prepared for what awaited us. When we brought our sweet Naomi home, we did not know that the culture was going to shift so radically and become radicalized on this issue of race. The culture has been torn apart. We also did not realize that my husband David would be at the tip of the spear in terms of cultural pundits. We were sort of in the spotlight with a child that we had adopted interracially, so we had an immigrant family with Naomi. People just attacked us horribly.

What I realized from that was my own feelings about racism were not complicated enough. They were not robust enough previously. I thought, Well, we can love a child no matter the color. It’s no big deal. Love is love, and love conquers all. Which is true. However, there are inherent problems when you have a transracial family, because I had to be on a learning curve on what it’s like to be black in America. Previously I thought, Racism is not something that I see very much. But then, when I got Naomi, I saw it everywhere. I’d be at Nordstrom’s and policemen would talk to Naomi, suspecting that she was stealing stuff. Or people would follow us in higher-end stores to see if we were stealing. And I’ve never been followed before in my life.

I just started asking questions and talking to people that I knew who were African American. I asked them to tell me their stories. And suddenly my eyes were opened. Not only did I see racism targeted at Naomi, but I saw it in my friends and I had to repent of my lack of understanding of that, my lack of knowledge, and expand that so that I could understand my daughter more and my nation more honestly.

Give the episode a listen to hear Nancy’s stories of investigating sexual abuse, her romance with Founding Friend David French, and the time she almost got Mitt Romney killed. Nancy also co-authored with Curtis the new book, The After Party: Toward Better Christian Politics, a complement to The After Party course you will definitely want to check out!